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Last night I took about a 45 minute walk just to think.  I needed to get out, think things through and clear my head.  I wanted to listen to something on my iPod that I knew would foster thinking, so I chose to listen to My Epic.  Every time I listen to their music, I learn something new.

Honestly, lately I've been terrified of not finding my place in the world and in God's plan when I graduate.  I'm afraid I'll have a heap of loans and no way to pay them off and no way to make the world better.  A lot of people, that I graduated high school with, aren't doing much at all, and I'm afraid I'm going to fall into that.

This song hit me, I don't know if it really helped me with that problem, maybe it did.  But, it reminded me that anything good, true and beautiful that I do, is only because of God.  I can't keep trying to do things on my own.  I mentioned it in this post with that line about my plans, being bright as a billion stars, are never really that bright at all.  Any thing that I seek out to do, will not be worthwhile unless God is behind it.  Anything good, true or beautiful I do, is not by my doing, because those are qualities God has.

Another line that struck me was the one that said "I'm tired of striving to be, who You already say that I am.  I am Yours."  That line really sums up what I'm seeking a lot, I strive to be God's child.  I already am God's child because God said so.  There is nothing I can do to earn that, it's freely given to me.  I really just need to chill and be with God.  God has me in His hands and I'm already doing His will if I'm seeking Him out, I just need to trust that everything will go well.

I know that didn't go anywhere, but those are just some thoughts I needed to write out.

Give the song a listen:

My Epic- Author

I have nothing new to say. The world is so terribly big, it keeps spinning and shaking loose all my constants and making me see that the sun has been burning too long to have not shed its light in every direction.

All I know is that beautiful in me is You... beautiful in me is You.

(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.

(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.

(All... I... know...) Every good thing, every true thing, beautiful in me is You, beautiful in me is You.

I see a thousand young men, they're all marching in time with the war on their doorsteps and their lovers behind them, and all of their glory flows back to their master, but they care not for honor, for they wear His robes.

I'm tired of striving to be, who You already say that I am. I am Yours...

Take what You need to take, say what You need to say to make me who I am meant to be, You can have it all. Take what You need to take, say what You need to say to make me who I am meant to be, You can have it all.