Wednesday, August 8, 2012

When they attack

I hate confrontation.  I don't like to upset people.  I don't like when people don't like me.

I've been trying to change how I handle confrontation... especially when I didn't do anything and someone is lashing out at me.

This can really be put into effect at work.

When people attack you, and it appears to be without reason... or they have a reason, but the attack seems too big to be justified by the reason...

... the real reason isn't you.

I'll give an example and then tell you the real reason.

This situation makes me think of when I worked at Ukrop's.  I worked in customer service, so I typically helped people who were having problems.  Sometimes, people were upset because an employee wronged them in some way... justified.  Other times, we didn't have their favorite cereal in stock, and somehow that was my fault and I'm an insignificant, worthless human because of it... unjustified.

The truth is, that customer wasn't mad enough to curse me out and insult me because we didn't have their cereal, most likely they had a bad day, or they were going home to a family that was falling apart, or they hated their job, or they had a fight with someone they love.  Maybe they are just an awful person... but most likely, they're upset about something else and they're choosing to take it out on me.

I learned the worst thing you can do is to let your emotions be affected by their emotions.  The best way to handle those situations is to realize that their problem is their problem.  They aren't really that mad at you, you just happened to be there when they felt like exploding.

So if someone attacks you and it seems unjustified: choose to not fight back, listen, and make them feel heard.  Don't let their frustrations with life affect your day.

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